Colleen Hannegan

Finding the words....and the perfect pair of glasses.

Pam Grout

End of something, start of something.....else!

Colleen HanneganComment

Three more days to wrestle with the final resolutions I made 362 days ago. To tell the truth, I don't remember what they were. If I wrote them down, I don't know where January's journal is. Nor do I care. I woke up this morning and didn't want to get out of bed. Once your feet hit the floor and your toes slip into your slippers, you're committed. You've left cozy dream land and all those fluffy warm blankets and soothing pillows  that keep you floating away from reality and you're instantly adrift instead, into the cold morning air, and your worrisome waking mind; oh what a bitch she is if I don't rein her in!

Today she won. All of me. She claimed me at the pre-dawn glow when I daily mind-wrestle the holy and the unholy. One second I'm feeling dejected and worrisome, disappointed with all that IS, the next moment, I'm in awe of the swirling LOVE I feel when I'm in that just awakening state of bliss. Or blah. I have to deliberately reach out for bliss because blah is always sooo demanding of my thoughts! 

This morning I slipped into blah, big time. Maybe I was due for a sloppy morning cry. Maybe it was  plain and simple exhaustion at calling to mind 362 days of trying my best to progress! Maybe it was all that sugar I've been enjoying since Thanksgiving! But I confess, I didn't resist. I let her have her way and I wailed outloud to the FP (field of potentiality as author Pam Grout likes to call it.) I still call it The Great Listener, God, sometimes Goddess, sometimes Great Spirit, sometimes Universe, sometimes Me. That force of Energy that I know is ever present and ever listening and always waiting for my instructions. I moaned and groaned and had a pity parade for what didn't make sense, what was slow in coming (in my humble opinion) and what I'd lost and wished I still had, and I wailed about the picture in front of me that just didn't seem right!! And I'm tired, I cried! I've done the work, passed the tests, made the grade....haven't I??? 

All my assorted works-in-progress lay waiting for me on my desk, like a taskmaster. All that self-promoting I should be doing. All that social media fan-fare that would bring the results I'm hoping for. All that big smiling, happy facing, "because I'm happy" dancing I should be throwing myself into after my high-energy protein shake and one hour fitness routine that keeps me on top of the pile!  Ugh. Today, double ugh.

No. No. No. I climbed out of my blanket hideout, slipped on my painting clothes from yesterday and prepared the kitchen for it's final coat.  I turned on Pandora and lined up new music by Xavier Rudd, Iron and Wine, Ben Howard and Ali Farka Toure and of course, some Bruno Mars. Awesome new tunes. I cranked up the heat and pointed my paint brush towards finish.

Ending a year is as great a plan as beginning a new one. No matter what humble job lays before you, moving forward is all that matters. To measure ones' own progress is to always fall short. To leave the test results to the Higher Power that knows you and loves you so completely it makes your head spin is a nicer way to treat oneself. Nobody is as hard on me as me. My Bigger Self loves me; adores me, even when I whine.

As I held my brush firmly, and committed it to a fine job of keeping within the lines and making my kitchen shine, I felt a new dance flowing in from my feet to the top of me. 

Today would be a paint day, a music day, a day to say no to obligations, and say yes to an easy completion. As the second coat dried, I took an hour spin on my bike into the waiting wilderness park. Bright sun, crisp fresh air and blue overhead cleared my murky mind and grey spirit.  

Painting complete. Kitchen re-assembled.

Inspired to make dinner, I  prepared a killer rib-eye steak with super-yummy garlic mashed potatoes and stir fry veggies for my sweetheart when he got home from work. T'was a successful day afterall. 

It's so easy to flow and so difficult to force life.  Maybe this should be my new year commitment to self. May the FLOW be with me. And make dinner for someone I LOVE.

More often.


Super-Yummy Garlic Mashed Potatoes

Peel ten small red potatoes. Cut into quarters. Boil until soft, about 15 min. Drain. Add 3 TBL butter and a 1/4-1/2 cup half and half. Add a heaping teas. of crushed garlic ( I buy mine in a jar, thank you Trade Joes).  Mash to music. 

Enjoy. And may your New Years joy-producing resolves be a whole lot more fun than any difficult resolutions you had in mind!


From a 1915 New Year's Postcard . 

From a 1915 New Year's Postcard . 

Pam and Carlos..... "Con tu luz, si se puede."

Colleen HanneganComment

Of the myriad of books on my nightstand, Pam Grout's just released, E-3 (or E-Cubed), Nine More Energy Experiments that Prove Manifesting Magic and Miracles is Your Full-Time Gig, has my full attention. Pam is a #1 New York Times best-selling author of 17 books. I've read E-3 cover to cover, underlined multiple sections that zeroed in on me and what's cooking at the moment, then started re-reading it to absorb the lessons more completely. I've tried many of the experiments she suggests and am enjoying the results! (Pennies, James Brown, my placebo remedies, messaging with my thoughts, to name a few.) 

Ever since I was 10 years old I've been tuned in, you might say, to looking for magic and miracles in my life.  Follow the yellow brick road, right?

Yes, I've been sidetracked along the way, no doubt, confusing doctrine and have to's and must have's for E-tickets to happiness, belonging somewhere (love and confidence) and prosperity. Hoping I could control people and events in my life, I often had my hands hard-pressed on the wheel steering away from conflict and situations that frightened me.  I fought hard when push came to shove and was relentless in learning to find my own way, a better way to being me.

It was so much work most of the time!

But according to Pam,  "E-Cubed is  really about not helping yourself.....about not making your own decisions...about not assuming you know best. It's about letting go- giving up all mental constructs and surrendering to the all-loving, all powerful energy force she likes to refer to as the FP, the field of potentiality, or the Sacred Buzz.  Really, that easy? Awesome.

Pam's book helps guide the reader in fun and powerful experiments to demonstrate you are in control of every area of your life when you surrender to controlling it. I know. It's definitely a new mind set.

But I'm so ready for my new year, my new Sacred Buzz flowing through all the currents of my life and my new way of seeing. I believe I knew all I needed to know about happiness from birth to 10 years of age. But the way we've been programmed to "figure things out" and the message we're basically sinners, helped turned off my natural knowing at that young age and set me on a course to eradicate what was "wrong with me". 

Fifty years later (almost), I'm coming back full circle to what I knew a very long time ago. The only thing we have to "do" is follow our joy and be the light we wish to see in our world.  We don't need to save the whales; we need to save ourselves, the whales and the dolphins and the seals and the areas of the world we see as lacking and in pain, will be alright. It's a domino effect. That's how miracles work. Without pushing and shoving. No finger pointing. We already possess E-tickets to personal freedom and joy. We just need to cash them in on a daily basis.

Carlos Santana, in his new memoir titled, The Universal Tone: Bringing My Story to Light, says it all, "Con tu luz, si se puede."  With your light, it can be done.

Today, I'm thinking about the light I wish for my own life in the new year up ahead. I am not worrying about everyone else. (That never helps anyway.) I'm completely sure that the getting done will be an easier result from just keeping my light switch ON.