Certain birthdays seem to shake, rattle and roll you sort of like an earthquake. It comes on all of a sudden, even though you know you live in earthquake country and are as prepared as one can be. It just shows up one day and you want to roll under the nearest desk and cover your head with your hands until it goes away.
That best describes how my recent birthday felt. It was a big one, more than a little shake, it woke me up from a dream and smacked me upside the head. YOU ARE HERE NOW. No I can't be. YES YOU ARE!! and................... you're going to be just fine.
My brother Brian told me when he needs to get a grip on how old he is, he imagines himself much much older, then looks back in time at where he is now, and says to himself....hey, I'm not this old yet! Ha! I can see how that may work for awhile until.............. you're REALLY OLD!! And time has run out.
Many of us are CONSUMED with thinking about how not young we are anymore. Maybe that's an exaggeration. Maybe truer is, this society we live in is consumed with youth power. And it has always tended to underate the amazing power of bright and healthy elder energy.
Maybe we're two worlds (Young vs Not Young) trying to live in the same world and sometimes the overlapping of desires and comparisons brings negative judgment. "What do they know??" That can apply to either world.
As much as I refused to believe that getting to this age would not change anything about my life, I must be honest and say it has changed a few things. And to rail against being here now is fruitless, a major energy suck and idiotic. Youth cannot and maybe should not be worried or concerned about getting old(er). Life is for the living. And Living is all about being present in the moment. Being 16 or 60 should not alter what being HERE NOW means. THAT I would have preferred to learn in my youth!
So here's my list of what has arrived with my turning "seasca". (Gaelic)
~~ Realizing as hard as I work out and eat right, my body will never look like it did when I was younger. It's okay! I look really great for my age! (I repeat that to myself often.) And I have a good fitness plan weekly.
~~ Happiness is a daily choice over unhappy, doubt and worry. REPEAT OUTLOUD.
~~ I leave my house without makeup or wearing a bra as often as it works. Freedom!
~~ I listen to my feet when they say they're tired. And any other body part that is speaking up about how it feels.
~~ Self-care is a part-time job that is more important than ANYTHING. An afternoon cocktail may be in order, or a visit to my esthetician for a beauty treatment. A tough ride out on my mountain bike may be required. Whatever!
~~ I'm MUCH more accepting of other people. Though I still wonder about the oddness, selfishness and stupidity of my fellow person, I'm much more likely to wonder where they hurt and be understanding....to a point anyway.
~~ Great sex is the best vitamin. Lucky me I have a wonderful and engaging partner, that knows how to have fun. And, BTW, he's aging gracefully and that's a bonus.
~~ Girlfriends; more precious than gold. Way more precious than anything I own for that matter, The level of laughter highs and shared life journies keeps me going!
~~Sisters! Real ones. Got lucky there too. Supportive, all the way. They know the stories, all of them and rally for me when I'm down and know what to say to get me back on my feet.
~~I've looked over all I've lived and all I've achieved in life and came to the conclusion of late, that I've lived a successful life and many people in my life would miss me if I died. LOVE rules my world and when I forget that, I slip up. Guess there's more to be done since I'm still here. But I no longer feel pressure to perform. What's mine will come to me and I'm sure I'll recognize it when it shows up.
~~ I'm more open to trying new things without pre-judging it's fun factor.
~~And, finally, I absolutely need to sign up for more outdoor, physical adventure. I have spent most of these years on adventures of the Spirit and Relationships and Mental Travels. It's time to pull out the paper passport and road map to new places and people. GO!
These days I'm learning to balance being out in the world and being quietly at home. The joy of being quietly at home is feeling very good lately. But I hear the pied piper of future age playing the tune that enticingly sings.....enjoy this healthy life while you can!!! Get OUT THERE!!