When one of my sisters was having a a difficult time with making a decision about how to help someone else, I told her rather bluntly, “F*** the Whales, Save Yourself!” We broke out in uncontrollable laughter from the shocking impact of my comment. I went on to explain that if people would see to their own immediate personal issues, there would be less need to champion the protection of whales, or trees, or mountains, our oceans, neglected children, polluted rivers, environmental chaos and various problems in our community and the world at large. Wellness in our neighborhood and in our world begins with our own inner wellness. As a natural side effect from extreme self care, whales would be saved, rivers would become unpolluted and all children would be well loved.
I encouraged my sister, to take action that would see to her own needs and by doing so, the needs of others would be easier to see and to attend to. Like the flight attendants teach us, in an emergency, put the oxygen mask on yourself first, then on your child.
It’s easy to understand that helping others feels good. I believe we are all hard wired to various degrees to jump in and try and do some good! But if it’s a feel good distraction from attending to more sensitive and difficult matters within your own home and family, it can become a take away from those who need your love most.
Recently I experienced an amazing healing of just such a feeling. My love for others and desire for their happiness was a kind of burden. I’d always felt I needed to figure out how to help them. That if I tried hard enough or prayed smart enough I’d be able to “show them the way”. Whatever the way was for them.
Ugh. There is no way I could show someone else the way if I didn’t understand which way I was going!
It always comes back to Love. Extreme self Love. Self Love creates a higher vibration to those who are near you, both physically and energetically. When I can say I’m taking really good care of myself physically, emotionally, spiritually, maybe I can say something to another person that just might be what they needed to hear just then. Or I might more honestly lend a helping hand that truly comes from Heart and not the Head. And not “think” twice about it.
When we let go of worry for another person and embrace thoughts of peace, love, goodness, laughter and compassion into ourselves, your thoughts for others well being will follow the channel of Love and all its healing power.
Love always knows what is needed or what healing means to a person. It is not for us to decide what any other person really needs. We can only decide to Love ourselves and from there Love will spill over onto all we hold dear where we live and who we live with.